Change.

"Are you sure?" She asked.
"Yep."
"This is a big change..."
"Uhuh."
"Don't you want something more gradual? Like a bob, perhaps?"
"No, I'm fine."


Don't you find there is something highly irritating/ intruiging about those two words? What if, I'd caught the earlier bus up town. What if, I had never been born. What if I'd been two seconds later; three minutes faster. What if I was a completely different person. You're head suddenly becomes filled up with millions and millions of questions that you'll never EVER be able to answer. It'll totally take over you until there's nothing left but a paranoid, confused, seriously deranged Nobody standing in your place.

So I did it. I picked up the magazine with the selected image on the glossy page, sat down on the hairdressing chair, and handed it to over to her. Her eyes bulged, eyebrows shot up...But then, after the initial shock was over, she told me I definetly had the face for it, and she'd do it.

My Monologue From That Time:
Is she lying? Is she being polite? You know, I don't have the face for this at all. I suit my hair. I love my hair. All long and straight and simple...Oh my god, I can't do this! I can't! Sarah, tell her you don't like it... Sarah! Wait, oh God, is that a razor she's plugging in? Surely not! Surely she's not going to shave my head! But she is...She's flicking the switch...Oh God, Sarah, tell her too -


And just like that, I watched my thick brown hair fall to the ground. Yep, it was gone. As I sat there, though, I realized that this was a good thing. I thought of all the things that had changed in my life running up to this point. Emma had left for Heriots, Lindsay had left for Watsons, I hadn't made it into Lorettos (Thanks to my Maths...Still, 80% in a Scholarship Test isn't too shabby...), and, of course, I no longer had a Dad. I was in third year now. I was beginning a whole new chapter in my life. I needed something symbolic, something new. I needed change.

I learnt when I was ten years old that life is too short.
I realized this summer that nothing lasts forever.
And the worst thing ever imaginable?
For your life to become one big fat What If.

Lots of love,
Sarah xxx